Intro post to understand why we are doing this.

The final show of 2CW’s first year in biz. Main-evented by an iron-man match that looms over the entire show.

27. Johnny Law vs. King Machine (Steve King)

King Machine is not billed as being Steve King. Commentary doesn’t make mention of it. But c’mon.

Anyway, Johnny Law ain’t a great worker, not a good worker, and King is doing a problematic Japanese impression? Commentary says (despite wearing a mask) he looks Mexican?
Do for some reason like the finish, the loaded donuts box. Fun little gimmick. Wish he did literally anything else of value.

17. Zachary Springate III vs. Gordy Wallace

This may or may not be a “fans bring the straps match”. Hard to tell based on the number of people whipping straps.

Need to immediately call attention to how gross ZS3’s gear is. Leather snowmobile gear? Unbelievably bulky. You get it for the strap business where he wants to be protected by the fans pelting. Me? I think it backfires because it works those degenerates up. Now, they are winding up from wayyyyy back to slap those straps. By the time the gear gets shedded, they only know how to throw 99 MPH fastballs.

Important to also note he’s wearing regular ass wrestling gear after.

Did find it incredibly funny that this crowd is so screwed in the head, some of them also throw the straps at Gordy who is the clear as day babyface.

Sucks that I can’t dig a match with a fireball more. We got to start throwing way better punches so I don’t get depressed over NOT ENJOYING A MATCH WITH A FIREBALL! God damn it.

14. Isys Ephex vs. Spike Dudley

This is a 30 minute ironman match. The whole show you’ve seen the scoreboard in the background set to the 30 minute mark.

Currently I only have one wish in this world and it is to be a fly on the wall in this booking meeting. You think they all texted about this? Was this whipped up the night of the show in the back? It is imperative that I learn this information or I will forever be saddened.

Almost sad I need to spoil this upfront or I’ll simply be talking around it, the match ends 17-2. Now, Cagematch says 18-2. That is not based on the announcer’s count, to me that is gospel. I’ll trust them any day of the week over Strigga.

But how does one GET to 17-2? Agonizingly.

The sickening piece of the equation is that for 20 minutes I genuinely thought this might turn into one of the best matches in 2CW history. I knew going in this was a 30 minute ironman match, I personally have a distaste for anything over 10. If it weren’t for the commitment I gave to you, the reader, I wouldn’t have even bothered. And yet, Isys decided to turn this into a funky grappling match early that made the old brain tingle. Not trying to say Hyson was along for the ride, he brought more of the Veteran Worker Working Holds mentality to it all, but Isys had a knack for throwing a flourish here and a flourish there.

Again, there are some dudes on the 2CW roster that give Tape Trader vibes and Isys is one of the biggest. He could be all natural, not influenced by discs from RINGS or 90s lucha grappling, but I doubt it.

For 20 minutes, you get to see Isys use a whole bunch of holds. Shocking that for someone from this region to be able to have them be as convincing as they are. The Veteran wrinkles from Spike are having easy and obvious counters that take presence of mind. Isys working from hold to hold to hold and Matt Hyson countering but carrying Isys’s momentum to toss him through the middle ropes. Emblematic of what he brings to the table even when in the micro, he does have flourishes that delight me.

Then things turn. By god did they jab at something within my soul that had a visceral reaction. It stops being a match, it is a full on angle. Your stupid ass might ask “What’s the difference”. There stopped being any friction. No “who is going to win, who is going to lose”. That stopped mattering. It was all crowd popping for Spike Dudley as he kept getting DQs. And damn it if Spike started stabbing Isys or braining him with chair shots so that he would forget when his mother’s birthday was, I probably could have been swept up. But it was all so tame*.

I’m not an easy going person. When I’m told one thing, and I am having a good time with that thing, switching up to something totally different that I find gross, taints the whole thing. Potentially that is a character flaw within my soul. Or, more likely, it is a dumb way to go about things.
What sticks in my craw is how they managed to put on a match I should have hated upfront, a long grappling heavy match featuring Spike Dudley, and made it entirely engrossing. Then flipped me the bird. I deserved it.
*I typed that and instantly heard some try-hard wrestlers saying “if you think that is tame, why don’t you get your fat ass in there”. Idiots.

13. Jason Axe vs. The Killer Steves (Steve Kruz & Steve McKenzie) vs. Ajax820 & Dizzie)

Walking a way from a Killer Steves’ match and having the overwhelming gut reaction of “That was fine” is a major victory.

6. Loca Vida vs. JD Love

Unlike the last match, JD Love does not wrestle like he has kidney stones. That doesn’t immediately make it an improvement but notable nonetheless.

These two of good/weird chemistry. In the grand scheme of 2006 2CW, it is a high floor pairing. Loca is not toolsy. There are no particular physical abilities or craftiness, just straight forward, middle of the road WWF Light-heavyweight action.

Lucky for Loca Vida, Love remains one of my favorite dudes to watch work. He forces a motorboat on Loca. No one in 2CW is doing it like him. Pair that type of sex appeal with chops that rattle through Loca’s chest, lot to like…or should I say Love.

If Love brings the WORK then Loca brings the SPOT. He does the one thing that you can easily throw on a 2CW highlight video where he climbs up a basketball hoop and jumps off. It is not particularly flashy but it is high up so who cares. Do think it is almost backhanded for commentary to call out how this represents Loca Vida’s high flying ability. There was barely any jumping, no bend of the knees. He just fell off into Love and the ref, hoping to god they would catch him. Still, it pops up, good indie bullshit spot.

4. Slyck Wagner Brown vs. Dan Dynasty

A true, honest to goodness shame that Dan Dynasty does not go on to be a fixture of 2CW because a wrestler with a decent toolbox willing to do all the asshole heel things is hard to come by. Just early on you see him hit it a jab during a breakup, show plenty of ass (not in the typical 2CW way where bare cheeks are on display) by constantly running into shoulder blocks, and yanking SWB off the apron in a way that does not feel sporting. That is a proper wrestler.

Not trying to dog on SWB, but what he brings is more of a canvas. Sure, there are moments where he can bring some wrinkles. There is one spot that grabs where Dan grabs the ropes to avoid running under a leapfrog but SWB is quick as a cat, able to immediately recover for a dropkick. That type of shit is good. Subversion of spot + subversion of spot = pop from the only audience that matters, me. Then there is one tool that Slyck always brings to the table, a nasty chop. Unlike a bunch of Good Choppers, he doesn’t seem to be able to fire it at will, there is a real windup that he brings. Maybe there is a little bit of my love for Sami Callihan because he’ll lick his hand before lighting up someone (Dan in this case). Love me saliva [INSERT EMOJI OF TONGUE OUT]

But sorry to the People’s Champ, Slyck Wagner Brown, Dan is the engine of this sum bitch. I loath when people say Bret Hart is “king of the little things” or some malarky. Those are almost always showy pieces of work. That is the exact type of heel gimmicks that Dan busts out throughout. These wrinkles like putting his feet on the rope when ever he can during a pin. There is also this great eating shit moment where he does a cross body akin to a baseball drive and smacks into the mat. Most wrestlers will go “Let me slow this down if I’m going to give up my body” but Dan said “Lets have to peel me off this mat with a shovel”. To me, that is honest to god wrestling. Does the little heel things and also will get absolutely wrecked, not enough wrestlers are willing to do either!

Finish comes out of nowhere a bit but in the grand scheme of things, I couldn’t possibly care. SWB is one of the focuses of the promotion and if anything, Dan willing to take shortcuts was the only leverage he had to keep from being killed off sooner.