Piece does what it says on the tin. This will be a review of every single match where the WCW Hardcore Title was up for grabs. That’s not completely accurate, as there were matches on house shows where the title was defended. So it’s a review of every WCW Hardcore Championship match we have footage of. But that’s a less snappy title.

I checked in with some WCW historians, and they confirmed to me that Fit Finlay’s winning of the Junkyard Hardcore Invitational at Bash at the Beach 1999 is not included in this title’s lineage. This leaves us with sixty matches to look at.

Each review could be a couple of sentences or two thousand words. A star rating will also be included if you’re a sick pervert who’s into that kind of thing.

Why am I doing this? None of your business.

Brian Knobbs vs. Norman Smiley 21.11.1999 – WCW Mayhem 

Hey, if every match is this good, then I’m in for a fun time. Norman Smiley is such a charming gimmick, a scaredy-cat who wrestles in padding while claiming himself to be the King of Hardcore. And sure, this match isn’t groundbreaking, but it’s very simple and enjoyable wrestling. I do worry that if this is what counts as hardcore, we’re in for some mild affairs.

Knobbs, that nasty little boy, mostly dominates Smiley with trash can based offense, but after they brawl to the back, chuck food at each other, and head into an elevator, Smiley’s manager Jimmy Hart accidentally hits him, allowing Knobbs to steal the win.

This was good.

Rating: ***

Norman Smiley vs. The Wall 02.12.1999 WCW Thunder

Ah, there we go. A two-minute nothing match. Better get used to these, we’ll be seeing a lot of them. Smiley in some taekwondo gear is once again very charming as he faces The Wall (better known as Malice), who is the lackey of Berlyn (Alex Wright). Recently, though, there’s been some tension between the two. Berlyn can’t control The Wall, get it?

Berlyn is on commentary, and despite being from Germany, he is doing a bad German accent. My favourite line is, “I am Berlyn. I am always in control. I’m German.”

After some mucking about with the trash can, Berlyn tries to hit Smiley with the Hardcore Title, but hits The Wall instead. Oh nooooo.

This was nothing. I’m German.

Rating: * ¼

Norman Smiley vs. Rhonda Singh 06.12.1999 WCW Monday NITRO 

Another really fun affair. This time, Norman Smiley comes out in a Green Bay Packers kit with a foam cheese hat instead of a helmet, which feels like a mistake. His open challenge is answered by Rhonda Singh, who comes out to old timey stripper music because the joke is that she’s ugly. I’m not saying that, WCW is.

This match certainly feels more hardcore. We still get a lot of trash cans, but we also get a table bump and a fire extinguisher spot, which delightfully turns Smiley’s moustache white. Rhonda does the best job so far of fulfilling the “beat Smiley up until he squeaks out the win” formula, really laying into him.

We also see in this match why Smiley is often referred to as the Triple H of the WCW Hardcore Title division. He constantly undersells his opponents’ moves and waits a really long time to go for the winning pin after knocking them down.

Excellent stuff.

Rating: *** ¼

Norman Smiley vs. Meng 19.12.1999 WCW Starrcade 

Man, I thought this title was supposed to be bad? These matches are so much fun. Smiley, this time wearing the uniform of the regrettably named Washington Redskins, has taken my advice and is wearing a helmet. Smiley is just so good at his gimmick. He sells his cowardice in such a funny way, and going against the terrifying Meng only adds to it. My favourite moment is when he literally dives through a curtain to get away from him.

Meng gets attacked by the newly aligned Fit Finlay and Brian Knobbs, presumably for a reason, knocking him out cold and allowing Smiley, who was hiding under a table, to get the win and run off. Interference finishes normally blow, but it just makes so much sense for Smiley.

I’m having a great time.

Rating: *** ¼ 

Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay 23.12.1999 WCW Thunder

It’s like poetry… It rhymes.

A reverse of the previous match. This time, it’s Finlay and Knobbs attacking Smiley, and Meng makes the save, attacking the two and allowing Smiley to win. There is some fun to be had in the idea of people feuding through Smiley matches, but not with him. This match wasn’t as enjoyable as the last, though. Smiley screaming as Meng drags him on top of Finlay was fun.

Rating: **

Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs 12.01.2000 WCW Thunder 

It’s a new millennium and a new day for the hardcore title. The video package before this bout tells us that Brian Knobbs and Fit Finlay have broken up. Nuts. And Smiley and Meng have become friends. Awww.

This is an “outside hardcore” match, which Smiley tries to get out of by citing that it’s too cold. The match being outside means it’s hard to see shit. This is a pretty standard walk and brawl, which ends with Smiley being lightly bumped by a car, giving Knobbs the opportunity to pick up the win.

Ending Smiley’s 51 day reign, which will be the longest title reign in the history of the Hardcore Title.

Rating: * ¾ 

Brian Knobbs vs. Fit Finlay vs. Meng vs. Norman Smiley 16.01.2000 WCW Souled Out 

The four men who’ve been hovering around the Hardcore Title decide now is the time to settle it with a four way for the belt. Smiley, trying to recapture his beloved belt, has come out in police riot control gear. ACAB does not include Norman Smiley because any riot gear he’s using is riot gear the cops don’t have. Very cool and very woke.

There’s confusion over the relationship between Knobbs and Finlay. They sometimes fight, they sometimes work together, and they’re in matching gear that makes them look like the Dudleys. Meng was also there.

The match itself is a nothing, boring brawl. Walk a bit, hit someone, trash can, walk a bit more. The only cool moment is Finlay headbutting someone while wearing the riot control helmet.

Knobbs eventually picks up the win, putting this era of the Hardcore Title behind us.

Rating: * ¾ 

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow 07.02.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

I miss Norman Smiley.

Knobbs comes into this match against Bam Bam Bigelow, with Fit Finlay as the special guest ref. I’m very confused about Knobbs and Finlay’s relationship. He hands Knobbs a trash can to hit Bam Bam with, but immediately afterwards gives him a chair shot to the head, allowing Bigelow to pin him and Finlay to do a fast three count.. I’m sure if I was watching the full episodes, I’d be even more confused. Bigelow is your new champ.

This was nothing and bad.

Rating: *

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Demon 08.02.2000 WCW Thunder

Hell yeah. The Demon, the KISS wrestler, makes this big elaborate entrance. His stupid coffin rises, and as he steps out, BANG! Hit on the head with a kendo stick. 1, 2, 3. That’s your match. Perfect wrestling. 

Rating: *** ¼

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Wall  WCW Monday NITRO 14.02.2000

This has a bit more meat on the bones compared to the recent matches. There’s some good brawling, a sick chair shot and a great table bump. The Wall seems cool. Wish he wasn’t dressed in a suit.

Bigelow is clearly in really bad shape at this point in his career. That’s not a criticism. I often enjoy watching wrestlers after their bodies have given out on them, but he’s clearly very limited now.

This was okaaaaaaaay.

Rating: ** ½ 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Adrian Byrd WCW Saturday Night 19.02.2000 

Should be noted that the dates I’m listing for all these matches are the days they were broadcast, which isn’t always the same as the day the match actually took place. This will only really matter for Saturday Night matches, as there are going to be matches that technically took place before others but, in the kayfabe of professional wrestling, are supposed to have taken place after.

The quality of my legally acquired copy of this show is a lot lower than the Nitros and Thunders I’ve been watching, which actually adds something to the hardcore scene. There’s a sense that these matches get to breathe more on Saturday Night, not in the actual runtime but in the presentation. The entrances are longer and the title gets held up by the ref. That’s all well and good, but the match itself is a lot of nothing. Adrian Byrd is really green and does stupid things like just dropping the trash can.

Rating: * ¼ 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Brian Knobbs 20.02.2000 WCW SuperBrawl 

I’m still very confused by Knobbs and Finlay’s relationship here. Finlay tries to help Knobbs, but Knobbs wants to prove he can do it by himself. I hate toxic yaoi.

This match was okay, with some fun crowd brawling and a cool table bump. The finish sees Finlay sort of, kind of, not really interferes, allowing Knobbs to become a two time, two time champ.

Rating: ** ¼ 

Brian Knobbs vs. Dave Burkhead 26.02.2000 WCW Saturday Night

Just a squash match in the truest sense of the word. Burkhead doesn’t get a single move in. He gets beaten up for a minute before Knobbs hits a splash with a trash can for the win. The only enjoyment I get out of this is the commentary acting like this is the most violent thing they’ve ever seen and the match needs to be stopped. 

Rating: *

Brian Knobbs vs. Evan Karagias, Shane Helms & Shannon Moore 28.02.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Of course you can’t beat three people, Brian Knobbs. You’re Brian Knobbs! You fool!

In his hubris, Knobbs agrees to make this a 3 on 1 handicap match for the title against 3 Count, the thinking man’s strange love connection, and it leads to quite an enjoyable affair. With there being more people for Knobbs to wail on, it creates a great pace as the three boys feed fuck feed. These matches, even with their short length, tend to have a lot of waiting around, but not here there’s always something happening.

In the end, Knobbs gets too focused on putting one of the 3 Count boys, it’s impossible to tell who, through a table, allowing the other two boys to hit him with a cane, then a can, and both pin him for the three count. LayCool ain’t shit. We got three people holding the Hardcore Title.

Really fun match. We’re so back.

Rating: *** 

Evan Karagias, Shane Helms & Shannon Moore vs. Brian Knobbs 19.03.2000 WCW Uncensored

Of course you can’t beat Brian Knobbs, 3 Count. He’s Brian Knobbs! You fools!

A match very similar to the previous one, but better! This time, it’s a 3 on 1 gauntlet match, which in a hardcore context means Knobbs needs to pin each opponent, and they only need to pin him once. What we get is another encounter of the 3 little boys feed fuck feed for Knobbs as he smashes them about.

Lots of fun stuff in this. One of the boys, again, it’s impossible to say who, is immune to pit city as he has a protective mask on. There’s a fun table bump. Knobbs just chucks a ladder outside the ring and it lands on a boy. We even get a dusty finish as Knobbs is dropkicked by one lad while he’s holding another lad, which results in a 3 count, but Knobbs had his arm on the rope. A bit later, he picks up his third and final pin, winning the match and becoming a three time, three time, three time Hardcore Title champion.

Now for another peek behind the curtain. To find every WCW Hardcore Title match, I’ve been using Cagematch, and it’s very useful, but I noticed that this match received a very low rating of 1.88, the worst of any match so far. And I must ask, why?? Because it buried 3 Count? It’s 3 Count. Who cares? Get over yourself. This was sick.

Rating: *** ¼ 

Brian Knobbs vs. The Dog 29.03.2000 WCW Thunder 

And we’re back to nothing matches. This time, Knobbs faces the wrestler most commonly known as Al Green, who currently has his kinkiest gimmick, “The Dog”. And while he may come out with a dog collar, Mad Dog Connelly he ain’t.

This was really bland. I wish Knobbs had a better finisher. Having this Hardcore match end with a second rope splash with a trash can is really unsatisfying.

Rating: * ¼ 

Brian Knobbs vs. The Dog vs. Norman Smiley vs. Rick Fuller vs. Dave Burkhead vs. Adrian Byrd 01.04.2000 WCW Saturday Night

This match is more important than any of the other matches discussed so far. In fact, this is the most important WCW Hardcore Title match ever. Why? Because it is the main event of the final ever WCW Saturday Night. An institution that started in 1971 and lasted for 29 years, this is how it says goodbye.

Of course, it didn’t start out as WCW Saturday Night. The show was initially just called Georgia Championship Wrestling, then it was renamed to World Championship Wrestling. It was sold to the WWF for a year, then to JCP, before finally becoming WCW Saturday Night in 1992.

This is the show where Steve Austin and Brian Pillman honed their craft, where we got matches like Big Van Vader vs. Cactus Jack, Barry Windham vs. Arn Anderson and Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat. It was, for many people, an introduction to and defining memory of professional wrestling. It is one of the most important shows in the history of wrestling.

And how does it go out? With a flaming turd.

This match is terrible. Just awful. Even the return of my beloved Norman Smiley can’t save it. This is a WCW Hardcore Title on a pole match and, God, it’s so boring. A man gets on the turnbuckle to grab the belt, he gets hit lightly with some weapon and falls off, someone else gets up on the turnbuckle, rinse and repeat until the finish. The only fun bit is when Knobbs gets the ladder stuck around his neck.

Knobbs wins. Who cares? This was really, really bad.

WCW Saturday Night, hate to see you go, love to watch you leave.

Rating: DUD

Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley 16.04.2000 WCW Spring Stampede 

Because there is some justice in the world, Brian Knobbs has been stripped of the WCW Hardcore Title. It’s actually because of that time every title got vacated. 2000s WCW, what a company. This means there was a tournament to decide who the new champ would be, and in the finals we got a bout between the greatest wrestler of all time and also Terry Funk.

This is a really fun match that starts off with Smiley hiding in the bathroom wearing a full catcher’s uniform, pads and all. Funk’s often comedic selling blends really well with Smiley’s whole shtick. There are moments where the bits come off a bit clunky. Smiley climbs a ladder and hangs from a pipe in a very unnatural way, though it does create a funny visual.

The match loses something when it stops being a walk and brawl and makes its way to the ring, but it’s still a good time. They fuck up the finish, what they do is place a ladder in between the ropes setting up a seesaw then Dustin runs it attacking Funk but Funk fights him landing on the ladder that was suppose to shoot and hit smiley Joey Muercy style but it whiffs completely. Not too bad to run in the match but not ideal.

Terry Funk is your new Hardcore Champion!

Rating: *** ¼

Terry Funk vs. The Wall 17.04.2000 WCW Monday NITRO 

I’ve seen too many The Wall matches for one life, but not enough Funk matches.

This match contains the single most hardcore spot up to this point. Funk climbs the top rope, goes for a moonsault outside of the ring and lands straight on his forehead. This is the first moment in any of these matches that made me wince. Funk’s spasming on the floor as he slowly gets up, wrestling in its purest form.

The rest of the match is fine. It’s Funk getting beaten up before two tables mysteriously fall on The Wall, allowing Funk to pick up the win. I’m sure this is to set up some mystery, but I’m choosing to believe it was Jesus.

This is a one spot match but what a spot.

Rating: ***

Terry Funk vs. Bam Bam Bigelow 24.04.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Real nothing. The Cat interferes attacking Bigelow. The commentary puts over the idea that the hardcore title is the only belt not in the grips of the new blood. Funk in the trash can looks funny

Rating: ½ 

Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 07.05.2000 WCW Slamboree

We see that Smiley has learned from the last time he faced Funk, tricking him into thinking he was hiding in the bathroom, only to surprise him with a fire extinguisher.

This is a two on one match, with Smiley joined by a mystery partner in catcher’s pads. It’s Ralphus. Ralphus isn’t a wrestler, and that’s painfully obvious here. He mostly just stands around, unsure of what he’s supposed to do next. His pants start to fall down and, with a little help from Funk, his ass is exposed to the world. Listening to the commentary die of laughter at Ralphus’ ass is very charming.

Smiley almost has the match won, but gets distracted by Ralphus’ desire to hit the wiggle, which allows Funk to roll Smiley up.

There’s certainly an absurdity to this match that makes it enjoyable, but the match itself isn’t very good. This is also the longest ever WCW hardcore title match. Why?

Rating: * ½ 

Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 08.05.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

The match so nice they had to do it twice. Smiley introduces Ralphus as the man who showed us the dangers of crack. He’s wearing a shirt with “Just Say No” printed on it and an arrow pointing to his ass. Get it.

Smiley’s and Ralphus’ jobs are on the line here. We get some fun golf cart shenanigans before Funk beats both men to death with a baking tray. A lot of nothing again, but at least it’s shorter.

Norman Smiley and Ralphus have been fired from WCW, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.

Rating: **

Terry Funk vs. Big T, Cash & Stevie Ray 10.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Funk keeps getting booked in these handicap matches because Bischoff doesn’t like him for reasons. Here he faces Harlem Heat 2000, so no booker T. Funk comes to the ring holding two raw chickens, which… ok.  The three men beat funk up slowly but they eventually fight each other over who gets to pin Funk. Funk hits a chair shot for the win. Bad match

Rating: ½ 

Terry Funk vs. Chuck Palumbo 10.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Because Bischoff really doesn’t like Funk, he forces him to pull double duty tonight, facing off against Chuck Palumbo, whose shtick right now is a knock off Lex Luger.

This match is much better than Funk’s previous bout of the night, mostly thanks to the excellent punches thrown by Palumbo and especially Funk. They brawl through the crowd, to the back and eventually outside. Palumbo threatens to actually murder Funk, but Luger makes the save, attacking his knock off and literally throwing him into a dumpster, allowing Funk to pick up the win.

He continues to survive.

Rating: ** ¾ 

Terry Funk vs. Juventud Guerrera, Konnan & Rey Mysterio Jr. 15.05.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

More angle than match. Funk is attacked by The Cat as he makes his way to the ring and is knocked out cold early on. The Misfits make a run in to save him, then Disco Inferno runs in to save those flighty flighty animals, before Booker T comes down, fighting the animals off and moving an unconscious Funk on top to get the pin.

The run ins are fun, but I would have enjoyed an actual match somewhere in there. The story of an old Funk refusing to give the belt to Bischoff and continually managing to survive his title defences is a good one. For now.

Rating: **

Terry Funk vs. The Cat 17.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Funk demands a match with Bischoff’s head lackey, The Cat. The Cat’s got a great look and is a real good shit talker, which you need for these basic walk and brawls. They make their way outside, where they find the unemployed Norman Smiley and Ralphus selling bootlegged WCW merch out of the back of Ralphus’ sleazy car. The Earl Hebner of the time.

Funk and The Cat wrestle around and on top of the car, smashing up the windows before Funk wins by pinning The Cat in the trunk.

Fun match.

Rating: ***

The Franchise vs Terry Funk 22.05.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

So this one is complicated.

Funk comes out in a tuxedo, ready to make a big announcement. Everyone, including his family, is assuming and hoping it’s his retirement, but he takes a bit too long to get to the point, so he’s interrupted by the New Blood, led by The Franchise Shane Douglas, who tells Funk to hurry it up.

Funk announces that he’s become a grandad! And it’s a boy. Congratulations, Grandpappy Funker. Douglas tells him no one cares and tells him to retire, for Funk to respond, “I’m retiring July 1st, 2001!” We’ve got one more year of Funk.

The New Blood, enraged, attacks Funk, beating him down. Funk’s daughter tries to stop them, but it’s no use. They keep beating Funk down until The Franchise pins him, and Chris Candido counts the three. Then Douglas leaves with the Hardcore Title.

Now, here’s the dilemma. Was this a match? It’s hard to say. Unlike its WWF counterpart, the Hardcore Title does not have 24/7 rules. It’s a title that’s defended in sanctioned affairs. No bell was rung and no real ref was present. So that would make you believe no, this was not a match.

However, Shane Douglas is credited as a WCW Hardcore Champion and would go on to defend this title, so that would make you lean yes. But just because a title changes hands doesn’t mean a match happened. Triple H was once literally handed a belt with no match ever taking place. So you’d think no.

But there was a three count, even if it wasn’t performed by an official. So did Douglas become champion right then, or was he awarded the belt later? It boggles the mind to understand.

Given that it is important to the history of the Hardcore Title, I’ve decided to include it. If you’d like to appeal this decision, I’ll see you in court.

Rating: i dont know like * it wasn’t even really a match. 

The Franchise vs. Norman Smiley & Terry Funk 24.05.2000 WCW Thunder

The Franchise, in his infinite kindness, has offered a Hardcore Title shot to the unemployed Norman Smiley and Ralphus. Ralphus is dressed in a Sasquatch costume. I wonder why?

It’s Terry Funk. You know it’s Terry Funk. You saw who was in his match. You saw the image.

The actual moment of the crowd thinking Ralphus has won the Hardcore Title, only for it to be revealed that it’s Funk, is enjoyable, but they take their time getting to it. This is the first time watching one of these matches where I wanted them to wrap it up.

Fun moment, bad match.

Terry Funk is a two time two time WCW Hardcore title. 

Rating: * ¾ 

Terry Funk vs. Vampiro 29.05.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Less of a match and more of an angle to build to Sting vs. Vampiro in the infamous human torch match. Vampiro is trying to light Funk on fire, which includes pouring gasoline on him, only for Sting to make the save, with the match ending in a no contest. There’s one really sick Vampiro face first table bump, and I got to see Sting. I had a great time.

Rating: ** ¾ 

Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido 31.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Lets not beat around the bush here. In this match, Terry Funk gets kicked by a horse. Other stuff happens, other cool stuff happens, but who cares? Terry Funk gets kicked by a horse. I love pro wrestling. I miss Terry Funk. 

Rating: **** ½ 

Eric Bischoff vs. Terry Funk 05.06.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

This is quite an infamous match. As of the time of writing, it’s the 19th lowest rated match on Cagematch, at a 0.33, so I was expecting something awful, but it’s just kinda weird and boring. So Bischoff comes out with The Cat, and they brawl to the back, but WCW, this time, doesn’t have a camera to follow them. So instead, we stay on the ring, and Miss Hancock and Kimberly come out to cut promos on each other about who’s hottest. Then they go to the back, and Funk wheelbarrows Bischoff to the ring, and the match continues. Russo sends the Mamalukes to beat up Funk, moves Bischoff on top of him, 1, 2, 3, that’s the match.

So this was bad, obviously, but it’s not bad in some shocking, how dare they kind of way. It’s just weird and boring. Bischoff vs. Funk is a feud they’ve been building for months now, and this is how it ends. Vince McMahon, despite being a racist rapist, was a great wrestler because he was willing to be humiliated. Why Bischoff sucked is that he very, very rarely got what was coming to him. I do have to wonder why this is so lowly rated. Like, it’s bad, but not significantly worse than some of these other matches. Maybe it’s the mere indignity of having Eric Bischoff pin Terry Funk, but it’s the WCW Hardcore Title. Who gives a shit? I’m writing all this, and even I don’t give a shit.

Rating: ¼ I guess?

Big Vito & Johnny The Bull vs. The Wall 07.06.2000 WCW Thunder

Eric Bischoff has handed the Hardcore Title to the Mamalukes, who are gonna freebird the belt. The Wall jumps the Mamalukes as they were staring at all the local knickknacks. The backstage brawl is nothing besides there being a giant novelty box of macaroni. When they make it to the ring, The Wall is attacked by The Franchise, who is facing him in a tables match at the PPV. The Franchise puts The Wall through the table, allowing Big Vito to get the pin. Nothing. 

Rating: *

Big Vito vs. Terry Funk 12.06.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

There seems to be some tension between the Mamalukes over who is the real Hardcore Champ. Big Vito locks Johnny the Bull in the bathroom before his match against the former champion, Terry Funk. Now, a toilet that you can lock from the outside seems like a poor design choice to me, but what do I know?

This was a really good match. Vito’s imposing presence and offence really gets the most out of Funk’s spaghetti legs and cartoony selling. This is probably the best Funk has looked in any of these matches, even if it doesn’t have him being kicked by a horse. There are multiple great table bumps in here, the highlight being Funk falling from the Nitro Girls cage through a table.

These two men really work Funk being out on his feet. If more of these title matches were like this, I would be having a much better time.

Rating: *** ½

Big Vito vs. Johnny The Bull 14.06.2000 WCW Thunder

Cagematch has been my primary source for finding all these matches. Normally, Cagematch is pretty good at this stuff, especially for a promotion as big as WCW. However, they list what happened here as a match when clearly it was just an angle where the Mamalukes explode, Big Vito putting Johnny the Bull through a table.

To the mediocre people of Cagematch. Please fix this.

From your dear friend, Padraig Gavin.

Rating: no 

Big Vito vs. Johnny The Bull 19.06.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

It’s unclear when the Hardcore Champions went from being both Mamalukes to just being Vito. At the start of this match, only Vito is announced as Hardcore Champ. With a win today, Vito makes it definitive that he is the one and only champion, so we’ll leave the details to the lawyers.

I’m becoming a big Big Vito guy. Maybe it’s his stupid look or the fact he fought in every single gang war on Staten Island, but he’s really growing on me. This was fine. They brawl backstage to a construction area and do some fun stuff with metal rods before a cool table bump for the finish.

Rating ** ¼ 

Big Vito vs. The Wall 21.06.2000 WCW Thunder

To the window. To the wall.

WCW has changed the rules to the Hardcore Title. Now all the matches will start backstage, but the wrestlers must make their way to the ring, and pinfalls only count in the ring. We’ll see how long this lasts, but if it’s in the long haul, this is really dumb and kills a lot of the creativity that these matches can have. We also see Funk coaching Johnny the Bull. Let’s see if that goes anywhere.

The actual match was fine. Nothing of note, still has Big Vito’s base level of competency.

Rating: ** 

Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 09.07.2000 WCW Bash At The Beach

Big Vito was supposed to face Johnny the Bull or Terry Funk tonight, but both men are unable to compete due to the actions of Big Vito. So instead, he’s interrupted by Smiley and Ralphus, and Vito, the kind man he is, gives them a two on one handicap match (another mistake by Cagematch, who have this match listed as a singles match between Vito and Smiley. Someone at Cagematch, get your shit together).

Due to the new dumb rules, they must brawl to the back to then brawl back to the ring. The new dumb rules aside, this match rocked. Probably the best of the Smiley and Ralphus partnership. Some funny stuff as Smiley and Ralphus get a bit of an upper hand with their number advantage before Vito sends Smiley away in an elevator, separating Ralphus, walking him to the ring, then killing him with a splash through a table with one working leg.

And Meltzer gave this a DUD. A fool.

Rating: ***

Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 10.07.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Match so nice they had to do it twice.

Once again, they did the “we have to brawl to the back to then brawl back to the ring” thing for the new dumb rule. What are we doing here, folks? But once again, despite that, this match was a lot of fun. Vito, in all his matches, has shown a love for targeting dicks, the Danshoku Dino of 2000 WCW.

Highlights of this match include Ralphus hiding behind a table and the finish, where Vito once again hits Ralphus with a frog splash through a table, but breaks up his own pin because he’s not finished with him yet, only for Smiley to sneak back into the ring, hit Vito with the chair, then hit the wiggle, not realising Vito has fallen back on Ralphus for the 3 count.

This is Ralphus’s last match, thus ending the career of the greatest wrestler ever.

RIP Ralphus 

Rating: *** 

Big Vito vs. David Flair 12.07.2000 WCW Thunder

David Flair has become so smitten with Ms. Hancock that when she asks him to win the Hardcore Title for her, he takes off his jacket and goes straight to fight Big Vito. The match is nothing, the most notable moment being when Big Vito sexually assaults Ms. Hancock, forcing a kiss on her. I don’t know if this was just a trend for WCW at the time or Vito just sucks at setting up tables, because once again, this table only has one working leg. 

Rating: * ½ 

Big Vito vs. The Artist WCW Thunder 19.07.2000

Only thing of interest here is the finish, which is the funniest thing to ever happen in one of these matches. Vito and The Artist are standing on the table. Vito goes to hit his DDT, and the table collapses while they’re still standing. So funny. The fans boo. I had a good time. 

Vito’s struggles with tables continue. 

Rating: ** ¼ 

Big Vito vs. Lance Storm 24.07.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Storm had such a great gimmick at this time, with the playing of the Canadian national anthem and the renaming of the US belt. Storm’s Canadian open challenge is answered by Vito, and he’s goaded into putting his Hardcore belt on the line. This is the least hardcore Hardcore Title match yet. There’s Vito’s patent cone to the dick and the use of a kendo stick near the finish, but this is a mostly clean affair. How do they cope without the plunder? They put on a clinic.

Storm is the worker everyone praises him to be, but Vito absolutely holds his own. In their relatively short run time, they put on a compelling affair, with great punches, sequences and near falls. Storm eventually makes Vito tap, and we have a new Hardcore Champ.

Rating: *** ½ 

Lance Storm vs. Big Vito 26.07.2000 WCW Thunder

Big Vito attacks Storm while he stands for the Canadian national anthem. The Italian Americans have declared war on the Canadians. God help us all.

This is a Canadian Rules match. To learn more about these so-called Canadian Rules, I asked Violent People’s official Canadian correspondent Cole, @jusfolaughsgags on Twitter, to describe Canadian rules and he said, “They restored the integrity of our great sport.” but after I pressured him a bit he would reveal “Canadian Rules where Lance Storm just gets to cheat and win, are good for society. Amerikkkans deserve all this punishment and more” scintillating stuff. 

Storm, however, describes the rules as no use of weapons, so a normal wrestling match, but Canadian. The match is very similar to their previous affair, but worse. The only new thing is that after a ref bump, Storm grabs and attacks Vito with a steel chair. That’s good heel work.

Rating: ** ¾ 

Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley 02.08.2000 WCW Thunder 

Storm has won one more belt since we last saw him winning the Cruiserweight Title, the original and best Canadian belt collector. This is his second match of three on this show, where he defends each of his titles. He rebranded the Hardcore belt into the “Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title”, S.H.I.T. for short. He also now has an official Canadian rule book, which he hands to the announcer, which reiterates that there’s no use of outside objects and that the match can only end by submission, but they count pinfalls during this match, so I guess they forgot about that rule.

His opponent is the American flag waving Norman Smiley. When placed in a match that eliminates the hardcore elements he’s become so used to, he’s humorously revealed to be a far more competent technical wrestler than a hardcore one. Him and Storm have a great little technical match. Very fun stuff. Once again, after a ref bump, Storm breaks his own rules, hitting Smiley with the American flag, then locks in the Canadian Maple Leaf for the win.

Rating: *** ½ 

Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley 14.08.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

With the formation of Team Canada, Storm has handed the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title, S.H.I.T. for short, to Carl Ouellet, making this the second time someone has been handed the belt, which really shows how much WCW cares about it. In his first defence, he’s been booked against Norman Smiley, a man who no longer wants anything to do with the hardcore division, wanting to return to his technical wrestling roots. So not only does he not want to be in this match, he doesn’t want to win this title. Once again, really showing how much WCW cares about this belt.

Despite being for the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title, S.H.I.T. for short, this match does allow the use of weapons. They also seem to abandon the “matches must start in the back and brawl to the ring” rule, so God bless Canada. This is just a standard No DQ match, and it’s a bit of fun. Carl Ouellet, who is most known for his work in his later years as PCO, is a very solid worker. His cannonball over the top rope is the highlight of this match.

The finish is great, with Smiley placed on top of a table. Ouellet goes to the top rope to hit another cannonball, only for Smiley to grab the ref’s shirt, who accidentally pulls Smiley up, sending Ouellet through the table with Smiley falling on him for the 1, 2, 3. Accidentally winning the match and the belt.

Does this cheapen the Hardcore Title? Sure, but who cares? It’s the Hardcore Title. I laughed.

Norman Smiley is a two time two time WCW hardcore champ. 

Rating: ***

Norman Smiley vs. Brian Adams & Bryan Clarke 21.08.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

The Harris Brothers attack KroniK, giving Smiley the win he doesn’t want. Bad.

Rating: ½ 

Norman Smiley vs. MI Smooth 23.08.2000 WCW Thunder

Smiley, who doesn’t want to hold this belt, has agreed to an I Quit match with MI Smooth, where he will immediately say “I quit”, handing the belt to Mr. Smooth. However, before this match, Smiley was chopped in the throat by The Great Muta, meaning he lost his voice. As he goes to say “I quit”, he just can’t. Smooth, who thinks Smiley is going back on their deal, starts to beat Smiley up, demanding he says “I quit”. Of course, by demanding Smiley say “I quit”, he is also saying “I quit”, losing the match.

This is just unbelievable levels of my shit. This is the stuff I love in wrestling. Answering the stupid question of what would happen if someone who lost their voice was in an I Quit match is just perfect wrestling. This was great.

Rating: **** ¼ 

Reno vs. Sgt. A-WOL 02.10.2000 WCW Monday NITRO 

Norman Smiley’s prayers have been answered as Commissioner Mike Sanders has vacated the Hardcore Title. For reasons. This resulted in a tournament to crown a new champ, and our finalists are Reno and Sgt. A-WOL.

Chuck Zito is here, most known for playing Chucky “The Enforcer” Pancamo in the hit HBO show Oz, so the commentary spent the whole match going, “This is kind of like that thing from Oz,” or, “Something like this would never happen in Oz.” At one point, Reno squats up to Zito. It was really weird, but in a good way.

The match was nothing. A-WOL won due to Big Vito’s intervention, but Mike Sanders reversed the decision because of outside interference, in a hardcore match. He’s a heel, and with Reno, it’s supposed to be bullshit, but that doesn’t stop it from being any less lame.

Making it the third time someone has been handed the belt.

Rating: * ½

And all those stars are just for Chuck Zito.

Reno vs. Kwee Wee 25.10.2000 WCW Thunder

Kwee Wee, whose gimmick is that he’s gay, comes out with two pink trash cans. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to love Danshoku Dino as much as I do and get mad at this being offensive. The absurdity of Dino, I think, helps, but in general, it’s not my place to speak. There are some absolutely wild moments here. It’s absurd how good this match was. It rocked.

Kwee Wee, for this match at least, is a great fiery babyface. Watching him punch and flail about while his body glitter rubs up on Reno is just a delight. Reno is solid as well. He’s got a cool look and some decent moves. Given the names, I was shocked by how good this was, but I’d really recommend it.

Rating: *** ½ 

Reno vs. Sgt. A-WOL 29.10.2000 WCW Halloween Havoc 

A rematch of the tournament final and the announcement that they’ve gone back to the old Hardcore Title rules, meaning falls count anywhere. This match shows what the WCW Hardcore Title could be: just sick plunder matches. A-WOL really delivers here, with his punt kicks to Reno with a trash can over him being the best any trash can based offence has looked.

The highlight has to be Reno going through the double decker tables. Just immensely sick. The rest of the match is some fun brawling, but it does have a really lame finish, with Reno rolling the dice on a table that wasn’t even set up.

Rating: *** ½

Maybe there’s something to this Reno guy. 

Reno vs. Kwee Wee 30.10.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Kwee Wee fucking had something, man. He’s a really good wrestler. The Natural Born Thrillers interfere too early for the match to really get going, but from what we do get, man, Kwee Wee had something. 

Rating: ** ¾ 

Reno vs. Crowbar 08.11.2000 WCW Thunder 

Crowbar is no Kwee Wee. This was really bland and boring. Nothing of note happened. A fun thing about watching all these matches back to back is you get to hear the commentators claim this is the craziest thing they’ve ever seen when you know that this is pretty tame.

Big Vito runs interference and Crowbar is your new Hardcore Champ. Yayyyyyy.

Rating: *

Crowbar vs. Big Vito 13.11.2000 WCW Monday NITRO 

This match took place in London. That’s where I live!

The match is 90% Big Vito beating up Crowbar, which I like because Big Vito is good and Crowbar sucks. The best moment was Crowbar going through a table covered in fish & chips and tea & crumpets, because you know, England. The match had one of my favourite lines of commentary yet, where Tony Schiavone goes, “The table is a universal language,” in a country that speaks the same language as him.

This match has a ref bump that leads to Reno interfering, attacking Vito. Again, these matches are no DQ, allowing Crowbar to win with a pretty cool table bump.

Rating: * ¾ 

Crowbar vs. Bam Bam Bigelow 15.11.2000 WCW Thunder

This match took place in Manchester. That’s not where I live! We do things a little different ’round here.

This was the first WCW Hardcore Title match to get an E-C-DUB chant, which is cute. Bigelow is in such a bad physical state here, and Crowbar sucks! This leads to a really bland, disjointed match. Bigelow has Big Vito type luck when it comes to tables, failing to put Crowbar through one twice. It does have a sick chair shot to give it something. That 70s guy Mike Awesome interferes, costing Bigelow the match.

Rating: ½ 

Crowbar vs. Reno vs. Big Vito 26.11.2000 WCW Mayhem

Crowbar sucks! This match sucked! Of all the people to hold this belt, I hate watching Crowbar the most, but by such a wide distance. When the match is just Reno vs. Big Vito, it’s fine, I guess, but even that’s marred by the storyline that Reno is dating Vito’s sister, I think? Who cares! Awful stuff. 

Rating: DUD 

Crowbar vs. David Flair 29.11.2000 WCW Thunder 

Bad! Fuck you!

I’m so close to finishing this project but the idea of having to even watch one more crowbar match is making me want to cancel it all.

Rating: *

Crowbar vs. Elix Skipper 04.12.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Lots going on here, with Crowbar being accompanied by Daffney, Skipper accompanied by the rest of Team Canada, and The Kat accompanied by Ms. Jones, who is also here for reasons.

We get interference from Jim Duggan, a Daffney and Major Gunns “cat fight” (Mark Madden’s words, not mine), The Kat attacks Mark Madden, then Lance Storm attacks The Kat. Add in the unique weapons of car parts, and especially add in that it’s only two minutes long, and this is the best Crowbar match yet.

It’s still not good.

Rating: ** ¼ 

Crowbar vs. Terry Funk 17.12.2000 WCW Starrcade 

Daffney’s finest hour. During this match, there isn’t a second where she’s not screaming at the top of her lungs. Either screams of horror as Crowbar gets beaten up or screams of delight when Crowbar is beating up Funk. She never stops, and it’s so funny. Screw Terry Funk, this is Daffney’s match.

I’ve quite liked Mark Madden’s commentary despite knowing how hated he is by most fans, but in this match, Jesus, shut up, man. I know this is 2000s WCW, you shouldn’t expect women to be talked about with dignity, but my god, you can’t talk about Daffney like that.

As for the two wrestlers, it’s pretty good. This is the old man Funk I love. He puts a beating on Crowbar. He puts Crowbar in handcuffs, but the handcuffs are pretty loose and he’s handcuffed in front of him rather than behind his back, so it doesn’t affect much. Some great chair shots in here. Maybe I was too harsh on Crowbar… maybe… probably not.

Funk hits a piledriver on a car door for the 1, 2, 3. He is your new champ, making him a three time, three time, three time WCW Hardcore Champion.

Rating: *** ½

Daffney’s Rating: *****

Terry Funk vs. Meng 18.12.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Meng’s back! Remember Meng, from before?!

During this match, Funk keeps taunting Meng by saying he looks like a monkey, which is just not good. Meng retaliates by, throughout this match, constantly making a sound I can only compare to the Trololo guy.

The match is whatever. Crowbar interferes, attacking Meng to give Funk the win because, of course, he does.

Rating: * ¾ 

Terry Funk vs. Crowbar vs. Meng 14.01.2001 WCW Sin

Its a new year but some things say the same. More Daffney screams! More Daffney screams for everyone.

I’d like to apologise to Crowbar. While he was putting in bad performances in bad matches in these last two bouts, he’s been excellent. All three of these men were great here. This match rocked. We peek into a different world where the Hardcore Title could have ruled. Just great fun brawling with a couple of sick plunder spots. Best being Crowbar’s massive jump through Funk onto a table and Crowbar being slammed through a guard rail, which just collapsed in half.

Meng, in the end, picks up the win here, becoming your new Hardcore Champ.

Rating: *** ½ 

Meng vs. Bam Bam Bigelow 17.01.2001 WCW Thunder

Meng and Bigelow decide to have a hardcore match using next to no weapons. It’s as boring and slow as you imagine. Not the start you want for Meng’s Hardcore Title reign.

Rating: ¾ 

And next up we have…. Nothing. This was the last WCW Hardcore Title match ever. A week later, Meng would leave WCW for WWF, and instead of vacating the title and crowning a new champ, WCW just let the belt die. Two months later, WCW itself would shut down.

During the Invasion angle, many WCW belts would be brought over, but not the Hardcore Title. It ends here.

The WCW Hardcore Title ends not with a bang, but with a Bam, a Bam Bam Bigelow, and also a whimper.

Hate to see you go, WCW Hardcore Title. Love to watch you leave.

Final thoughts

For this project, I watched sixty matches, and I would say I’d recommend watching 21 of them, giving the WCW Hardcore Title a hit rate of 35%, which is definitely higher than some belts people actually respect.

Those twenty one matches being:

Brian Knobbs vs. Norman Smiley 21.11.1999 WCW Mayhem 

Norman Smiley vs. Rhonda Singh 06.12.1999 WCW Monday NITRO 

Norman Smiley vs. Meng 19.12.1999 WCW Starrcade 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Demon 08.02.2000 WCW Thunder

Brian Knobbs vs. Evan Karagias, Shane Helms & Shannon Moore 28.02.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Evan Karagias, Shane Helms & Shannon Moore vs. Brian Knobbs 19.03.2000 WCW Uncensored

Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley 16.04.2000 WCW Spring Stampede 

Terry Funk vs. The Wall 17.04.2000 WCW Monday NITRO 

Terry Funk vs. The Cat 17.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido 31.05.2000 WCW Thunder

Big Vito vs. Terry Funk 12.06.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 09.07.2000 WCW Bash At The Beach

Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley & Ralphus 10.07.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Big Vito vs. Lance Storm 24.07.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley 02.08.2000 WCW Thunder 

Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley 14.08.2000 WCW Monday NITRO

Norman Smiley vs. MI Smooth 23.08.2000 WCW Thunder

Reno vs. Kwee Wee 25.10.2000 WCW Thunder

Reno vs. Sgt. A-WOL 29.10.2000 WCW Halloween Havoc 

Crowbar vs. Terry Funk 17.12.2000 WCW Starrcade 

Terry Funk vs. Crowbar vs. Meng 14.01.2001 WCW Sin

So here’s your official WCW Hardcore Title watch list. Of these matches, Funk vs. Candido and Smiley vs. MI Smooth are the only two I’d say you must go out of your way to watch.

Now, while the majority of these matches were bad, most of them were short, so they really weren’t offensive. I’d rather watch these than most modern day main event 30 minute plus epics. These matches also weren’t meant to be binged in a row by a mentally ill Irish man. They existed to fill time on weekly shows for a promotion that’s slowly falling apart. There were only three matches here that I truly hated: the six man title on a pole match from the finale of WCW Saturday Night, Funk vs. Bischoff, and Crowbar vs. Reno vs. Big Vito.

But this project wasn’t about watching good matches. If I wanted to watch some good matches, I’d put on a Battlarts playlist. This was about discovering the stuff that isn’t talked about anymore. It can be dangerous to blindly accept a wrestling canon: this match or this wrestler is the greatest because everyone else says so. In the same way, you shouldn’t just accept that something is bad or not worth watching just because people say so. If you did, you’d never find out that Norman Smiley is one of the greatest comedy wrestlers of all time or that you really love Big Vito. You’ve got to find out for yourself.

I was born in 2004, three years after WCW shut down. I didn’t really get into wrestling until 2017, and while I’m a “smart fan” who thinks he is better than all the WWE fans because I know about Black Terry and ARSION, so much of my knowledge of wrestling comes from the history that WWE tells us. I know way more random jobbers from the Attitude Era than WCW. My only real experience with WCW is the stuff that got canonised. That’s partly why I wanted to do this, to see what I was missing.

I was missing Kwee Wee. He really had something.

Some small additional thoughts. This is a really fun way to engage with 2000s WCW, one of the most infamous years in any wrestling promotion. These often less than five minute peeks into the promotion, where you catch clues from the commentary or from whatever sable is doing the run ins, that this place is slowly collapsing.

Throughout it all is Tony Schiavone, who is probably having a terrible time but the constant professional he is, puts in top tier commentary. While I’ve liked Tony in AEW, you see here why he’s an all time great. WCW throughout its history always had a great booth.

WWE despite being an evil hell spawn of a company. There uploads of full episodes of Nitro and Thunder to the WCW YouTube channel made this project a lot easier so thanks! You bastards.

What was the point behind all of this?

To see Terry Funk get hit in the head by a horse.

Drive home safe, San Diego.